I want to redeem myself in your eyes…

I know I’m that little speck of dust you don’t want to pay attention to,
I’m someone who has ceased to matter to you, for I see you brush thoughts of me off your shoulder, in incoherent rue,

I am now a stranger to you, who’s blithering amidst a score of people you don’t know, in the town,
Whose presence doesn’t anymore, make a difference too profound,
Who is but an incoherent mass of flesh and bones, who carries with her memories of the past with emotions and hue,

Yet, I want to redeem myself in your eyes, oh yes, even if my existence doesn’t mean anything to you,

Because, you haunt me in my dreams, dreams that I don’t have to close my eyes to see,
You inspire me to break barriers and boundaries and my lingering complacency,

You induce me to fill my skies with vibrant shades of sunshine and happiness and rainbows and silvery dew,
You give me reasons to stay alive, you give me something to fight for and prove, you give me hope and mornings, to look forward to,

You make me to want to turn heads, you push me to go after what my heart seeks to pursue,

I want to redeem myself in your eyes, just so you begin to think of me like I do, of you.

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I have a bone to pick with you.

I have a bone to pick with you,
For every time you chicken out of doing what you want to,
Because you’re scared you’d be ridiculed for wanting it,
Or because you think you’d fumble, you’d fail and scar yourself insipid,

I’ve a bone to pick with you for every single time you singe your brain with trepidation, because you believe you ain’t good enough for anything you want to be,
For every single time, you ludicrously underestimate your ability,

Because, it’s time you know you’re more than those fingernail marks you carve in consternation on your chin,
It’s time you know you’re a star in your own right, look how you surface from the battles you fight within,

You’re more than that blithering pile of clumsiness you envisage yourself to be, you’re stronger than you think – you don’t let yourself shatter with every bout of rue,

You’ve more to you than those trembling hands and fumbling fingers, there’s so much in you to imbue,

I’ve a bone to pick with you, for every time you let self-doubt clout your all,
For every time you seek validation to tell yourself who you are.

If you had to choose just one word…

If you had to pick just one word from the whole of the English dictionary,
What would it be?

A word to elucidate your one-of-a-kind identity,
A word to describe the madness you breathe,
A word for your moments of inexplicable efficacy,
A word to do justice to your profound insanity,
A word for your irreplaceable alacrity,
A word to speak of your existence in entirety,

My choice would, without a doubt, be, eccentricity,

What do you think yours would be? Go on, tell me!

For.

For the whiff of fresh air that seeps in through my veins
Liberating my soul into a space seemingly distant, yet oddly familiar,
Releasing my being, albeit temporarily, from the chains of monotony I willingly tie myself to,
Letting me bask in a bubble without the blithering materialistic cacophony;
For the plethora of stories and experiences, unsettling,
For the multitude of cuisines and cultures I end up discovering,
I travel, making the world my home, it’s people my own, one step at a time.

An indulgence, indeed!

Your hands begin to twitch at the sight of your dinner,
For you have, lying in wait, two cheese burst pizzas, whose crusts can’t get any thinner –
It’s a craving you’d sacrifice your all for, it’s a bait you’d wantonly bite,
You dig into them, bite after bite, you tuck them both into your tummy alright,
And then, you begin to squirm. You begin to fidget with the tiniest twinge of regret,
You begin to wonder if you should resolve to diet –
You contrive a diet that might help your body appease,
A diet sans CHEESE,
You burn the midnight oil trying to wrap your head around it, you sleep over it,
You decide you’d give it your all to keep yourself fit,

Only to come back, to another dinner you can’t resist,
Another indulgence, you wouldn’t bother to desist,
Oh well, this vicious, never-ending cycle I don’t think would ever take a backseat,

So eat, introspect, and repeat?

Let’s break up

You, sometimes, meet people who don’t need words to construe your incessant garbling,
Who you can pour your heart out to, without thinking,
Who understand what you’re going through, with a simple, cursory glance at your face,
Who you can function with, like a unit in inexplicable sync, and who, with remarkable ease, manage to fit into your elusive space.

Yet, suddenly, you disintegrate.
In ways that dumbfound you, in ways excruciatingly hard to elucidate,

You grow apart, like you were never destined to meet –
You abandon an equation you’d fondly forged, derisively incomplete,
You build a fence that manages to smoulder your ache,
A fence that leaves behind nothing, but a void in each other’s wake.

What of when I’m…?

I know you’d be there for me in my success, in my glory,
In my sunshine, in my happiness, I know you’d be there when everything’s hunky-dory,

But what of when I go astray and get horribly singed?

What of when I’m wrong, what of when I’m unhinged?

What of when my lustre withers away, what of when all my good stands forgotten?

What of when the world turns me down, what of when it calls me rotten?

Would you still bother to stand by,
Or would you dance to the tunes of its lullaby?