Are we asking for too much?

I have been meaning to write this for the longest time now but found the time and the temperament today, so here goes.
We ain’t ambitious to ask for Gender Equality and Women empowerment in the society we live in. In a society where the women are catcalled no matter what their attire is. In a society where the boy and his family find it difficult to accept a girl who is more educated. In a society where it pricks the husband’s ego if his wife earns more than him. In a society where the husband decides how and on whom his wife must spend her income. In a society where the woman isn’t entitled to an opinion; In a society which isn’t accepting enough for her to put forth her thoughts, her differences, her arguments, and her NO – because guess what, if she does she is either scarred for life or stabbed to death. 
We live in a society where the girl’s parents bear the expenses for a marriage both the families partake, give dowry (yes, the practice sadly still exists), sell their heart and soul to satisfy the guy’s family with the hope that their daughter is happy there. We live in a society we don’t bat an eyelid before blaming the woman, and this has been the practice since eons (Draupadi is even today touted to be the cause of the war).
In all probability, we can bring in change in such a society, if and only if we broaden our mindsets to – 

Treat kids of both the genders the same way. Educate and empower them both equally. Teach them both how to cook, wash, sweep and sew. 

Make them both strong and independent and capable. Help them understand that no job is too menial or too high for anybody, be it a man or a woman. Remove patriarchy at its very roots. Instill in them that both of them are equal by birth and neither, in any form, is superior to the other. Give them both, the freedom, the wisdom and the choice to choose, so they grow up to be each other’s support and strength and, above all, learn to respect each other. Stop giving the men in your family the sense of superiority, the space for authority and begin to be inclusive.
Because at the end of the day, man and woman, they are meant to go hand in hand, as equals. 


The impending need for Gender Equality.

I was scrolling through a few of the #MeToo posts on my timeline, when,

I thought I’d bring a few questions clawing my mind, to the society’s attention –
Why do you throw the girl child to the ants, why are you so pained by her presence,

When would you understand that SHE, is the reason for your very existence?
Why does her attire become the reason for your prejudice,

When her very being is always subjected to insurmountable injustice?
Why does it irk your ego if she wants move higher up the ladder, why do you expect her to compromise?

Why should she always be the one to sacrifice?

Wouldn’t her hard-work, her commitment, her passion for her work, just suffice?
Why do you advocate to her something, what you wouldn’t for yourself, find appropriate?

Why, despite being born an equal, do you expect her to be servile, to be the subordinate?
Why, when both are to blame, is she alone forced to mend her ways, is asked for a character certificate?

Why, what she brings with her, always seems to the world, a tad too inadequate? 
Why is there still, such deep rooted misogyny and patriarchy, why is there no space for gender equality?
Why don’t we understand it’s #HeForShe, and that’s exactly how the world is designed to be?!

Let’s fly high, my friend

Let not the society pull the strings of our lives, of our destinies,

Let not our race, religion, caste or creed decide who we are, or define our indefinable capacities,

Let not opinions biased, tarnish our hopes, our ability to try,

Let not doubts unascertained, limit our will to fly,

Let not stopgaps and pitfalls deter what we choose to pursue

Let nothing stop us from living our dreams, from becoming what we aspire to.


Pursue your passion 💖

Our society, I believe, has its own twisted definition for Darwin’s “Survival of the fittest”,

For it clearly reminds us time and again, about how it wants to be impressed –
“He owns a two-storey apartment, he drives to office in his own car,

He’s been to the U.S. twice, oh my God, he is such a star!”
“She works at Xyz. Everyone’s so proud of her –

See how the world will look up to you if become an engineer.”
We’re expected to be, even if we ain’t cut out to be, where the rest of the world is,

We’re expected to fit ourselves in, into the society’s definition of success and bliss,
We’re forced to run a race we don’t even intend to be a part of,

We run it, but, because we’ve grown to fear becoming a failure, we’ve grown to fear being written off,
So we begin to bury our insecurities deep within and without a clue –

We send our dreams back to sleep, we begin to chase what we are asked to –
But every time we pause, gasp for breath, and look out for that fresh whiff of air, we figure –
Our passion, we realise, is what we univocally turn towards, for solace amidst all the chaos, for clarity amidst all the blur.

Identity – and what it is. 

I always wonder if the world we live in, would ever get right, the meaning of identity,

For, it believes each of us is a race horse, trained just the way it wills us to be – 
“Girls your age, are married, in our town,

When, are you, planning to settle down?”
“My sister’s son – he’s done with his master’s, now contemplating his PhD,

If Master’s isn’t what you want, why don’t you go for a Management degree?”
But, hey, being asked to become a stereotype isn’t exactly new, is it?

For, into the mould designed by the society, we’ve always been forced to fit,
We’re only expected to yield to expectations aplenty,

Whether we’re ten, twenty, fifty or seventy,

We’re always told to lead by example, or made to follow one,

We’re forever required to be on par with our friend, sibling, cousin, or the neighbour’s son,
Yet, stand up we must, for what we want, even if it means a journey, alone,

Shut out other perspectives until we discover our own,
Carve our own niche, create our own mould,

Because, to seek our calling, we can never be too old – 
Defy gravity, find our own ground,

What we presumed, lost, will only then be found.

Change? But Why?

I don’t know exactly why, but “Change” is that word, that phenomenon that freaks me out. Every single time.

When I was in school, I dreaded that a time may come when I had to change my school. Though necessity such as that presented itself before me, I hated even imagining the fact that I had to go to a new place, make new friends, adjust in a new environment.

When schooling was over and I had to join college, I was really NOT looking forward to the new journey. I mean, I knew I had to get educated and all that, but I was quite never ready to move to an altogether new place, new teachers/professors, new people and new subjects.

College over, and time to say Hi to work – I was going through it all over again. Each time I felt I was being pushed out of my protective shield and each time I felt vulnerable.

But that’s life – and this is how things will be, and I have no choice but to accept them. Time flies, and I have to keep my pace with it. Always have, always will.

But there is another form of “Change” I detest.

To ‘Change’ my priorities. To ‘Change’ the course of my life, without my wanting to. To ‘Change’ features of my being and appearance just to look good/impress. To ‘Change’ myself, and not be what I want to be. To ‘Change’ my thoughts and views. To ‘Change’ my goals. To ‘Change’ my likes and dislikes. To ‘Change’ who I am, and become who the world wants me to.

Very often, I come across people (I am sure, all of you too do) who give me “free advice”. They somehow seem to have, always, ready at hand, a complied list of “free advice” to be given – on – how to be, how not to be, what to do, what to not do, what will give me happiness, what will keep the society talking. Et cetera, Et cetera.

I totally agree to adapt, to adjust, to learn-unlearn, to be flexible, to correct myself when I am wrong, because these will help bring out the best in me.

But that does NOT mean I will change the course of my life just to suit the ways of the society.

I’d like to just go out and do my thing and live my life the way I’d like to, without having to always clarify or answer around for every decision I make. I wouldn’t want to do something just because every Tom, Dick or Harry is doing it, or because the society decides it is right.

Oh! How I wish doing it was as easy as writing this blog! Life would be so much simpler then.


Find Your Calling…

All through school and college, we have been asked to come first in the class, we’ve been asked to look up to that guy/girl who’s the best at studies, follow his/her pattern and reach his/her level. But that’s about it.

As we grow, we can, at best, idolise people (maybe), and respect them for their achievements.

It ain’t necessary at all, no, not even one bit, that we should follow someone’s foot steps. As long as our principles are right, we should be able to create a path for ourselves, to reach where we want to.

Life is not a race between you and the rest of the world. If at all you have to compete, compete with yourself. Better yourself each day, each living minute.

Life isn’t  that examination where you have to do what the other has done, where you have the same syllabus, where you have to compete for the same grades.

Just because your peers have chosen something different from what you have, doesn’t mean your choice is bad. Just because a section of the society is doing something, doesn’t mean you have to do it too. Just because some people hold a particular something at very high value, does not mean it’s good or you need to value it too.

Listen to your heart. Understand what it wants. Understand what you want. Because life, is too short for regrets. Life is one absolutely beautiful chance God has given us. Life should be a celebration every moment.

For that, you need to begin to live your life the way you want to. At the fag end of your journey of life, you shouldn’t want to go back to change something and do it the way you had wanted to. Because, then, everything will be nothing more than a memory.

Every moment is now. Seize it. Find Your calling. Do what is right, do what your heart tells you to. Trust your instincts. Take the plunge. Take risks. Now is the time. Trust your decisions. Believe in yourself, believe in what you want to, believe in your decisions. Have faith in your efforts. Give your each effort your all. Let nothing stop you from experiencing the exhilaration you wish to, from achieving the success you aspire to, from reaching the zenith you long to.

Live. Live each moment like it’s your last. 

Be you. Be what you are, be what you want to see yourself as.

If you know what you are good at, and where you want to reach, fantastic. Go for it. Be weird, mad, silly. It absolutely does not matter. But do it. Because that’s exactly how you carve your niche. That’s how you will get your identity you have always craved for.

But, if you don’t know what you want to do, or if you still haven’t figured out what your calling is – there can be nothing better. This is reason enough for you to begin to explore. To discover yourself all over. To understand what it is, that your heart wants to do; where it is that you want to reach. Let there be no limitations. Let no boundaries stop you from doing what you want to. Let there be no fear.

It’s your life. You are your master. Only you decide what you have to do with your life. Not the society, not your peers, not anyone else.

Just one thing though. You owe no one an explanation for your choices. Only you know what you’ve been through. Only you know what you’re going through. Only you know why you are doing whatever you are doing. Only you know the decisions you make/made, and the reasons behind those decisions. No one should judge you for your decisions. Ever. Vice versa, too.

Let your identity be yours. Not a shadow or a photocopy. Learn to respect it, own it and be proud of it.