Being with you

is like reading my favorite novel. When I yearn for time to stand still. When I long to move to the next chapter, to have new beginnings to look forward to, to continue the adventure together, but I also want to linger in the present, savor each moment for as long as I can, while I’m here. When there are infinite, inexplicable moments I want to seize from the sieve and write poems about, and fatiguing memories that effortlessly knock me out.

But every time I picture us together in my mind, I inadvertently smile, because I see us cheerfully rise through pitfalls and impediments, I see holding hands until we reach the aisle. I see us gazing at a cloudless blue sky, sitting by the sea and sipping mugs of piping hot coffee. I see us sticking our necks out for each other and flaunting our eccentricity.

Because with you, I know I can burn the baggage I carry, and unapologetically be me. With you, I know no matter how tedious the journey, we’d always end up together, happy. With you, I know I wouldn’t have to mince words, be dressed to the teeth or reek of cologne.

Because with you, I’m home.
❤️
#Poetry

You are the first friend I made…

But you always manage to find me a million more. In the passages I read, through the plots you carry, between the shelves of my favorite bookstore.

There’s a bit of you in every room of my house, perhaps to remind me to pick you up whenever I’m happy, angry, sad or sore.
Because you don’t complain, you don’t demand, you don’t judge or wash me ashore.

You’re the reason for the pink in my cheeks,
for the shine in my eyes, for my not-so-subtle rebellious streaks.
When I’m confused and lost and wandering downcast, you help me separate the grain from the chaff,
You make me smile, you effortlessly push me to throw my head back and laugh.

You help me deal with heartbreaks in style,
You make my mundane Monday mornings worthwhile,
You’re funny, caring, understanding and intense,
You help me heal, you help me mend, you’re my strength, with you there’s absolutely no pretence.

You’re my first love and you will probably be the last,
For you don’t care about who I am, or what I was,
You don’t think I’m a disappointment, a letdown,
You don’t give up on me, you always remember to stick around,
You hold me steady when everything else turns askew,
There’s nowhere in the world that I would rather be, without you.

❤️
#Poetry

If I could tell you…

What it means to me to live in the same city as you. To carry with me hopes of a rendezvous. To walk along the lanes that swim in your scent, each evening. To seek your eyes and their hazelnut hue, in every queue, crowd and gathering. To not meet you for eons, but have conversations with you in my head. To write to you all that I left unsaid. To watch my words crumble into syllables and silences, before I spell them out to you. To realise, as I string them back together and tuck them into my sleeves, how they become the solace I yearn for, every time my world turns askew.

❤️
#Poetry

Love

I sit by the window in your favorite cafe, hoping to catch a glimpse of you today. I slowly take in the colour of the walls, the music in the room and the bookstore in the corner.
I’ve already chugged down six mugs of coffee. My hair’s tied in a bun, and I’m chewing the end of my pencil. I am terrible at hiding my nerves, you’d see.
I make a list of everything we could talk about other than the weather. You could perhaps tell me about your dog. Or your favorite cuisine? Or about the last book you read. Or the show you binge watch before you go to bed.
I write down the sentences. The pauses and the clauses. The fillers and the commas. The silences. I cross my fingers and begin to rehearse my dialogues. Our conversations. Exactly how I imagine them to be in my head.
I hear the creak of the door. I turn around and spot your reflection on the sunlit windowpane. My brain begins to cartwheel and I’m suddenly fumbling for words.
Again.

❤️

Hope

Can’t believe 2018 is coming to an end. Well here’s wishing a phenomenal 2019. Here’s to hope, love, light and laughter!

When I’m drowning in an ocean of nothingness, when despair begins closing in, like quicksand,
All I seek, is a hand
to hold, to pull me forward, to lift me up from the tatters,
to calm down my jitters,
So, when I’m dreary and can fight no more,
When there’s nobody and nothing left, to implore,
When every last speck in the universe pushes me to give up, to let go,
I see light, I see reason to stay, I see, hope.

Being in love.

I sometimes wonder what being in love would be like –
Maybe, I’d be a bunch of nerves flurrying down the streets,
Maybe, I’d feel my pulse quicken a zillion times every minute,
Maybe, I’d find it comforting to have someone look out for me,
Maybe, I’d let tiny little rays of sunshine seep through the blinds of my windows each morning, to tickle my effervescence,
Maybe, I’d see new hope, new reasons to smile everyday,
Maybe, I’d learn to sigh a little less,
Or maybe, I’d begin to like myself, a little more.

When you were around…

When you were around, I’d wanted you to stop talking,
I’d wanted you to stop asking me what I needed, I’d wanted you to stop telling me what I ought to be doing,

I’d often shut myself into darkness, into a world away from your chatter,
Into a space where everything you asked of me, ceased to matter,

But now, I find the silence deafening,
Now, when you’ve disappeared into the sunset, into a universe galaxies away from mine, I find the darkness unnerving,

Now, when you’re nothing but a memory that lies encased in a frozen corner of my heart, I miss how you would sing me to sleep every dawn,
I miss how you would tick me off when I was wrong,

I can’t bring myself to live with the void you’ve left behind, I want to stir life into your pictures, create moments that’d set alight our aloofness, my animosity,

I want to bring you back into my world, so I can string my soul to yours, for eternity.

♥️
#Poetry