Love yourself…with your flaws βœ¨

Everyday I look in the mirror, at my tiny eyes, my humongous nose, my over sized front teeth and I cry. And then, I reminisce. I think of all the wrong I’ve done, all the mistakes I’ve knowingly and unknowingly committed and I drown myself in remorse and resentment. This is a routine for me, everyday. Every single day. Sometimes minimal, but on days when I’m low, to an extent that I’m reduced to tears. I’d fake amazing strength and attitude on the outside, but inside I’d be broken and brittle. I’d go into a shell and stay incognito, just keeping to myself all day long. I’d keep interaction to zilch but peep out once in a while just to check if the world’s still intact. 

I know there are so many others out there who go through the same emotions as mine. Who go into a state of depression and get all worked up. Who blame themselves for everything that goes wrong. 

To all of you out there, and to myself too, here’s what I’d like to instill, strongly :

The ultimate truth is this.

Beyond everything else, you are God’s creation. Every bit of God’s creation is always beautiful. And God has always got a plan for you, for all of us. Something good, like light at the end of a dark tunnel. 
There’s no damage in this world that’s irreparable. Spare yourself that resentment and see what you can do to set things right. There’s​ nothing in this world that can’t be cured, only realise what’s wrong in time. Every bad experience has taught you something​ you’d remember for life, has made you stronger and has helped you emerge a better person.
And, there’s no one in this world that’s perfect. Perfection is overrated, exaggerated. Perfection is fiction. Imperfection is beautiful, plausible. Imperfection is real. Imperfection is what makes us human. So learn to love yourself with your flaws, with your loss, with your past. Just remember to ditch that baggage you keep carrying in your head. 
Love yourself for who you are, for who you have been, for who you will be. There’s absolutely no one like you. You are every bit special with your flaws, incredible in ways you can’t even manifest. Be the best version of you, always, be your first priority when you need to be and love who you are, with your imperfections, unabashedly.

Cheers! πŸ’

Great Expectations!

Yesterday, I yet again realised how sensitive I am, to words, to emotions, to situations, to people. To people who I think belong to me. It was just another normal conversation, but the over-thinking brain in me found something to worry about, as usual. 

After a series of texts and calls and conversations, and both of us became of wary ( I, of me, my friend, of me as well. What else?) I understood it was time to let go. To let go of the extremely fine thread of expectations I had. To let go of the hurt and the anger and the pain. To let go of the guilt and the misery and the doubt. 

I realised I can’t go about carrying a “Handle With Care” sign in this world, when I am the odd one out. Every emotion has to be mutual. I mean, it’s okay to sometimes take the first step when there are signs of reciprocation from the other end. But otherwise, there are extremely few occasions when the gesture is appreciated. And understood. And returned. Because, most of the time there is only turbulence, disappointment, awkwardness and emptiness. 

I find it easier to bring down my expectations than face the disappointment of them not being fulfilled. But now I’ll have to find ways to become less sensitive, because a) It sometimes become too much for people around me to handle, b) I don’t seem to be able to appreciate the lack of it in some, c) And sometimes it leaves a bad taste in people that it brings an emptiness in the equation I share with people – the pain of which I don’t seem to be able to handle.

Thank God for blogging though, I can pour out anything I’d want to express without any filter. And share my views without having to feel mortified about it.

Cheers!

The Wait…

When you’ve done all you could,

Even when, no one, by your side, stood,

You mustered up courage and hope,

And took upon you beyond what you could cope,

You waited day through night, 

You looked above wrong and right,

Futile your efforts were, you did know,

Yet, your disappointment, you didn’t show,

The wait was perhaps worth it all,

Inspite of the pain, the tears big and small,

Because, the chaos, the pandemonium, it brought and broke,

Actually, strengthened your soul with each stoke!

Moments πŸ’

I was sitting in a share-auto, stuck in traffic yesterday evening, when I got to visualise this wonderful moment. An old man, was struggling to cross the road with his luggage – he couldn’t walk fast with the baggage he had, and the signal was red. Two kids, who were playing on the footpath nearby, saw this and quickly ran over to him, got the baggage from his hands. One of the kids, called over to a third kid and asked him to help the old man cross the road. In seconds, the old man and his luggage were across the road, safe and sound. The old man’s happiness was evident from the smile on his face. 
Help still does reach those who need it, without them having to ask for it.
Moments like these assure you that the world is still a wonderful, wonderful place to live in. 

Satiating Saturdays – You Define Your Destiny βœ¨

The number of times we’ve been distraught and disappointed. With ourselves. With our expectations. The number of times we’ve let our failures bring us down.The number of times we’ve been lost, not knowing where to head or what to do, or who to turn up to. The number of times we’ve accepted whatever came our way because we didn’t think we’d get anything better. The number of times we’ve settled for the ordinary because we didn’t think we deserve something extraordinary. The number of times we’ve needed someone to show us the way. The number of times we’ve expected people to choose for us, or help us choose what we want.

So. Many. Times. I’ve lost count of mine.

And the excuses we’ve come up with to console our disheartened selves, everytime. 

Le sigh. Haven’t we all been there a bit too much?

I know we all lose track, slip and get misled. But it is important to bounce back as soon as possible, ain’t it? 

It is important we begin to weigh down the options we have, to reach where we want to, practically. Because, oh, come on, not all plans we chart out, work the way we want them to. There will be misery, there will be shortcomings. But that shouldn’t pull us down. If nothing else, the failures we face, should give us the encouragement to shift focus and look at the various other possibilities we have, to move ahead. Failure ain’t any pattern we need to get accustomed to.

So here’s a little secret I’m sharing, to help you keep going. And trust me, it works.

  • Everytime you make a plan A, have backup plans B, C, D, E… As many as you can think of, as many as you can afford to have, ready. Because, not everytime plan A will be a success. 
  • Though I’m all for positive thinking, I believe in having nil expectations. Do whatever is required and keep going. Don’t mull over what you’ve already traversed and hamper the progress of the rest of your journey.
  • Give your best, always. Spare yourself the regret.
  • Focus on the destination. The goals enroute, sure, are equally important but don’t let a miss here and there put you off track. 

      Only you are, and can be in charge of your life.You shape your dreams, give them wings to fly. You hold the key to your happiness. You are in control of who you want to be, and where you want to reach. 

      You define your destiny. 

      πŸ’

      My Favourite Childhood Memory πŸ’

      My childhood has always got to do with books – buying them, reading them, hoarding them. That’s how pretty much my life has always been. Even the tiniest nuances of my life will have a lifetime of memories about books etched in them. But lemme tell you how it all began – my love for books.

      Diwali is a festival of lights. And crackers. And, crackers scare the daylights out of me. All the time. I discovered this at a very young age of 3. So, my dad, from then on, decided there’d be no crackers in the house. So for each Diwali, since then, my dad would take us (me and my sister) out, to buy books for the amount that’d have been set apart for the crackers. We’d both happily choose the books we wanted to read, get them  gift wrapped and on Diwali, open them and begin reading them. Thus, it became a customary ritual which I’d look forward to, happily and eagerly, each Diwali.

      Love πŸ’

      Satiating Saturdays – Challenge Yourself βœ¨

      The one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but have backed out all the time because you didn’t have the courage to take the plunge.
      The number of times you have wanted to go out there and prove yourself to the world, but ducked out in the last moment.

      And every single time you’ve let fear come in your way.

      Go back in time and think. Think about how you’ve let your fear outdo your strengths.

      Fear is such an overrated emotion. Don’t give it the attention you think it deserves. It is exactly because of that we end up losing on so many opportunities we could have used to make our way up the ladder. To prove a point (in the easiest way possible). To flap our wings and fly high.

      Fear isn’t worth losing your identity, your sanity over. 

      So be the someone who decided to just go for it. Be the someone you’ll want to idolise. Be the someone you’d look up to for help, when you are helpless. Be the someone who you think would be your inspiration. 

      Challenge yourself each moment. Do exactly what you’re scared of. Live the fear. Get rid of it. Show it that it ain’t a big deal at all. Because, life isn’t about mulling over spilt milk. It is about living in the moment. And relishing each moment without holding yourself back.

      Go for it, now✨