Identity – and what it is. 

I always wonder if the world we live in, would ever get right, the meaning of identity,

For, it believes each of us is a race horse, trained just the way it wills us to be – 
“Girls your age, are married, in our town,

When, are you, planning to settle down?”
“My sister’s son – he’s done with his master’s, now contemplating his PhD,

If Master’s isn’t what you want, why don’t you go for a Management degree?”
But, hey, being asked to become a stereotype isn’t exactly new, is it?

For, into the mould designed by the society, we’ve always been forced to fit,
We’re only expected to yield to expectations aplenty,

Whether we’re ten, twenty, fifty or seventy,

We’re always told to lead by example, or made to follow one,

We’re forever required to be on par with our friend, sibling, cousin, or the neighbour’s son,
Yet, stand up we must, for what we want, even if it means a journey, alone,

Shut out other perspectives until we discover our own,
Carve our own niche, create our own mould,

Because, to seek our calling, we can never be too old – 
Defy gravity, find our own ground,

What we presumed, lost, will only then be found.
Cheers!✨

When In Rome…

​Yesterday, I read a post on the social media where a girl describes her experience of a walk (wearing shorts) in the park, in a city in India. About the numerous whistles and catcalls she had received. About the difference in attitudes towards a man and a woman.

And here’s what I have to say about it.

One. The Indian society is patriarchal. There’s no denying that. The men are always treated superior.

Two. The exposure. Not every Indian is exposed to western culture. Not every Indian is sophisticated. Not every Indian has crossed the border. Not every Indian has seen variety. Not every Indian is educated and cultured. Majority of the Indian population is orthodox. Is traditional. Is bound by the values of the system he/she lives in.

Three. You can’t talk about Quantum Physics to a 1 year old kid and expect it to understand. Neither can you force it to. It’s stupidity. You can’t force change out of the blue into the society and expect it to co-operate. People understand and evolve with time. Give them the time they require. You can’t always fast-forward things your way. You can’t always have everything your way.

Four. Though I totally believe in being the change I want to see, I also believe in the fact that change actually begins at the grass-root level. Begin by changing the thought-process of your son when he is a kid. Begin by changing the thought-process of your father, brother. Treat your daughters equal to your sons. Because, you and me make the society, and that’s half the problem solved.

Five. When in Rome, be a Roman. It is absolutely good to experience, understand and enjoy new things. But, in the process, try not to lose your identity. Your identity makes you, you.

 

Carve Your Niche!

To each, his own –

Your pace, your space,

Your mind, your thoughts,

Your ideas, your tastes,

Your problems, your solutions,

Your success, your failures,

You,

In every way, have an identity you can call your own,

Which, albeit small, ain’t false,

You’re unique in a million ways – Yet, one among the rest,

You needn’t try to fit in, you naturally do,

You’re a beautiful piece of the puzzle,

An undiscovered part of the bigger picture,

Caution though – don’t lose yourself in the crowd,

Remember to stand up for what you want, 

Strive to achieve what you intend to,

Push yourself, live your journey,

Make every moment yours, every opportunity ideal,

One life, One chance,

Carve your niche, be who you are, be who you want to!

Let Go.

My favourite post as on date. I insist you actually read it to know why.
A hint here, maybe.
Live to the fullest extent your heart wants to. Don’t cling on to something that’ll make you nothing but sad. Bury it deep, never to be recovered. Do yourself a favour, and love yourself for what you are.

Until a few days back, I was this douche bag, that was living with the memories of the past. Horrible, cringe-worthy memory. My mind was this “Pensieve” which kept storing only hard hitting, belittling, embarrassing memories. And each moment, each day, I would hash out atleast one from it and begin to feel guilty. Each memory had something to do with a mistake I had committed. I was living a life of regret, and resentment was probably the only emotion that I felt all day. All the good things, good memories were wiped away from time to time, under the weight of the negativity surrounding me, within me. I hated myself for my existence. I hated my appearance, my very being. I thought I was all bad, the rotten apple of the dozen. I didn’t seem to find any good in me at all, and if at all I did, I found it easier to overlook it than let it bring positivity into me. I hated every bit of me I knew. I was supremely under confident. And at the end of each day, when I recollected the day’s activities, I would end up finding one thread which I would spin into a yarn big enough to begin to feel guilty about. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong. I would think every other person in the world, other than I, was a much better human than me. My reaction to each situation would be based on my memories of the past. (Mind you, though my mistakes weren’t huge, according to me they were inexcusable. But I had the habit of exaggerating my each small mistake to something extremely big, that I would end up writhing in shame, everytime.) It would have been a random, meaningless conversation, but I would end up drawing a hundred different conclusions from it. I would replay each and every moment of the day and think of a hundred different reasons to why I shouldn’t have said/done what I had, and would go back  to feeling guilty all over again. I was exhausting to live with. I would lose my temper at the drop of a hat, and panic for something as normal as the rain. Although I had learned from my mistakes, I wasn’t ready to accept the fact that’s it’s all okay.

But this is exactly what resentment does to you, right?

I wasn’t ready to let go. I wasn’t ready to forgive myself. I wasn’t ready to give myself a chance. I wasn’t ready to love myself. 

Then, realisation hit me. In a way I didn’t expect it to. And I want to share it with people who are letting themselves wither away because of the regret of the past.

It doesn’t matter what you were in the past. Each human is imperfect and has a shit-load of regrets. To err is human. Every one commits mistakes. To learn from them and to not commit them again is the only lesson out of it. The mistakes don’t decide who you are, or your character. How you come out of it decides who you are. Love yourself for what you are. You are unique and there’s no one like you, and won’t ever be. So love yourself completely. With the flaws in you. The flaws make you beautiful. The flaws make you who you are. The flaws make you one in a million. The flaws give you your identity. So, appreciate yourself for who you are.

Forgive yourself. Flush out all the regret, the resentment. Let it all go. Because if they stay, they’ll only drain you of everything positive in and around you. You won’t allow yourself to live fully if you are going to remain the stupid douche bag. Don’t stop yourself from doing what you want to. Don’t be too hard on yourself. See things for what they are, not what you expect them to be. You’re going to be missing on the happiness of the present if the you’re going to let the past make you cringe for your existence. Seize each moment, and live in your present. Don’t just be a product of your past, evolve each day. See the world in a whole new light each living moment.

P.S. There will always be people to put you down, bring down your confidence. There will be people to judge you no matter what you do. Shut your ears to them, you can’t fend yourself from each one out there. There’s no need to. Just go out and do your thing. Give yourself real happiness, and a lot of it.

Find Your Calling…

All through school and college, we have been asked to come first in the class, we’ve been asked to look up to that guy/girl who’s the best at studies, follow his/her pattern and reach his/her level. But that’s about it.

As we grow, we can, at best, idolise people (maybe), and respect them for their achievements.

It ain’t necessary at all, no, not even one bit, that we should follow someone’s foot steps. As long as our principles are right, we should be able to create a path for ourselves, to reach where we want to.

Life is not a race between you and the rest of the world. If at all you have to compete, compete with yourself. Better yourself each day, each living minute.

Life isn’t  that examination where you have to do what the other has done, where you have the same syllabus, where you have to compete for the same grades.

Just because your peers have chosen something different from what you have, doesn’t mean your choice is bad. Just because a section of the society is doing something, doesn’t mean you have to do it too. Just because some people hold a particular something at very high value, does not mean it’s good or you need to value it too.

Listen to your heart. Understand what it wants. Understand what you want. Because life, is too short for regrets. Life is one absolutely beautiful chance God has given us. Life should be a celebration every moment.

For that, you need to begin to live your life the way you want to. At the fag end of your journey of life, you shouldn’t want to go back to change something and do it the way you had wanted to. Because, then, everything will be nothing more than a memory.

Every moment is now. Seize it. Find Your calling. Do what is right, do what your heart tells you to. Trust your instincts. Take the plunge. Take risks. Now is the time. Trust your decisions. Believe in yourself, believe in what you want to, believe in your decisions. Have faith in your efforts. Give your each effort your all. Let nothing stop you from experiencing the exhilaration you wish to, from achieving the success you aspire to, from reaching the zenith you long to.

Live. Live each moment like it’s your last. 

Be you. Be what you are, be what you want to see yourself as.

If you know what you are good at, and where you want to reach, fantastic. Go for it. Be weird, mad, silly. It absolutely does not matter. But do it. Because that’s exactly how you carve your niche. That’s how you will get your identity you have always craved for.

But, if you don’t know what you want to do, or if you still haven’t figured out what your calling is – there can be nothing better. This is reason enough for you to begin to explore. To discover yourself all over. To understand what it is, that your heart wants to do; where it is that you want to reach. Let there be no limitations. Let no boundaries stop you from doing what you want to. Let there be no fear.

It’s your life. You are your master. Only you decide what you have to do with your life. Not the society, not your peers, not anyone else.

Just one thing though. You owe no one an explanation for your choices. Only you know what you’ve been through. Only you know what you’re going through. Only you know why you are doing whatever you are doing. Only you know the decisions you make/made, and the reasons behind those decisions. No one should judge you for your decisions. Ever. Vice versa, too.

Let your identity be yours. Not a shadow or a photocopy. Learn to respect it, own it and be proud of it. 

You Matter…



Even in a billion or more,

Albeit small, you are distinct from every other,

You are important, you are significant;

You have a purpose, you make a difference!

P.S. This is part of my Pen The Picture project. Hope you like reading what I write.

My Life, My Rules!

image

Stop policing me,

Let me be who ‘I’ want to be,

Mad, weird or silly,

I’m unique and so will be my identity!

 

 

P.S. This is part of my Pen The Picture project 🙂 Hope you like reading what I write 🙂