You’re Special!

The charge, the connect,

Your frequency, our wavelength –

They create magic in the air;

O’ night! I love the bond we share!

P.S. This is part of my Pen The Picture project. Hope you like reading what I write.

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There’s Room For Everyone!

You’re not a crowd,

You’re don’t have to be the odd one out,

To each, his space, his own,

Good, rotten, ugly;  you still have your crown!
P.S. This is part of my Pen The Picture project. Hope you like reading what I write.

I’ll cross the bridge when I get to it!

Of late, I’ve been rambling. A lot. And “a lot” is a bit of an underestimation. Right since childhood I’ve had this habit of over-analyzing everything I do. I mentally make a note of everything I say or do, then replay the same thing in my mind one hundred times at least, and draw about a thousand different conclusions from each of them. That’s how I normally screw things up for me. I just can’t take things easy. I’m known to complicate even the simplest of situations to the worst extent possible – like blow it up to the power of infinity. My mind wouldn’t relax if it didn’t have a problem to think of – that’s the kind of drama queen I am. I just don’t know to rest in peace. Or live in peace. And of late, it’s all been getting worse. I’ve begun to freak out at everything that happens to happen to me – at everything I say, see or do. I’ve begun to imagine hopeless situations in my mind about things that are least likely to happen and I’ve begun draw contingency plans for them. What’s more pathetic is, I, almost everyday, call the 10 people (apart from my family) on my speed dial list, to get their opinions about my situation, not because I believe their opinions are going to change the situation, but because I believe it’ll help change what I think about it. That’s how senile I have become. That’s how dependent I’ve become.

Time to decide enough is enough. Realization has to hit me sometime, right?

I can’t keep moping and mumbling around all the time. I can’t go on being a pile on. I can’t go on letting each effing thing affect me like hell. I can’t let all the trash in the world occupy my mind and take control over it. I can’t keep bothering people with my so-called sad stories though they are my family and friends. I honestly believe they have no obligation to do it because they are family/friends – at some point of time they’d definitely be bored sick, but be polite to not say it loud and let me down. I just can’t cry buckets each day and look like a pitiful moth. No. I. Just. Can’t.

It’s time I grow up. I know it’s going to be real hard in the beginning, to mend my ways, to transform into that whole new leaf I want to, but hey, I’ve to do it someday, right? I’ve to realize that even by Mr. Newton’s law, my every action is bound to have a reaction – and there is nothing I can do about it. If it helps, maybe I could change the way I react to situations, but that’s the most. I can’t all the time be worried about everything that may/may not happen, I can’t keep grumbling about what has happened either – because nothing’s ever going to change it.

I’ve learn to be someone whom I’d look up to. I’d have to be able to handle myself better, and probably lend an ear to another as well.

And that’d be possible if I learn to cross the bridge when I get to it. And if some bug bites me into hallucinating about it before, I’ll have to sod it. Sounds like a plan, no?

 

 

 

 

My Day-Offs…

It’s been quite sometime since I blogged, so here I am typing away, spilling my thoughts into a proper blog post. It’s Sunday today, and my day off. It’s almost come to an end though, as I’m writing this – I’d probably have my dinner in sometime and hit the sack in an hour. But I like to look forward to my day-offs like every other person in the world  – they are the days I get plenty of time to read, sleep and eat. (Okay, the last bit is a lie. Not eat. I don’t really look forward to eating unless I’m starving). So, reading, and sleeping are pretty much the only two activities I care to make time for, when I’m on a holiday. I’d like to write sometimes though, when I’m in the mood, or think (not cook) of a recipe or two when I feel creative. Sometimes rearrange my books on the shelves, or Skype with friends. Anything that would involve me stepping out of the house or meeting people is a total No-No for me. I’m basically crowd phobic. Okay, correction, I hate to be part of a crowd with people that know me – as in, acquaintances, friends, relatives etc. Because, with them, I’d have to strike up a conversation, or be part of one, just for the sake of doing it – when neither of us is interested in the other, or when only one gets to ask the questions and the other has to answer (I always end up only giving the answers). As a kid, I didn’t have much of a choice – but now, when I kind of, do, I choose to stay locked up in my room, with my books, sketches and paint, to strike up a conversation with the thoughts creating chaos in my mind, to become one with the world I read about.

Lead the way…

Though alone, and almighty scared,

Though weak, and pretty insecure,

Tread along, do what your heart says,

You are the leader, so you pave the way!

P.S. This is part of my Pen The Picture project. Hope you like reading what I write.

Goal!

Tiny though each goal may look,

They’ll be your bridge to a tough corner or nook,

Never underestimate your success, its worth,

They show you who you are, your talent they help unearth!

P.S. This is part of my Pen The Picture project. Hope you like reading what I write.

Gain an Edge…

Things aren’t what they seem to be,

Don’t decide by what you get to see,

Speculate, observe, study, acknowledge,

Perhaps, over the others, gain an edge!

P.S. This is part of my Pen The Picture project. Hope you like reading what I write.