Rio Olympics 2016 is around the corner and I have a brilliant suggestion – an addition in the list of contests to be held this August. But guess what? The contestants whom I think will make it to the victory podium are from India, plus the icing on the cake is, they don’t even have to be given prior notification or any kind of formal training to make it through to the finals either. It’s pretty cost-effective – zero expenses for the training, if you ask me. Because, there is a professional hidden in almost every street in India, who can win this contest at ease. Practice does make a man perfect, you know.
Okay. Enough of the suspense. Here it is. (And before I make the big revelation, I am one hundred percent sure, each of you who’s reading this will agree completely with me.)
Contest Name : Spitting Feat
Contest Rules :
1. Spit anything – ranging from Tobacco, ‘paan’, ‘gutkha’, gum, wafers – Anything, Everything! The variety of items provided might seem incredibly huge, so the contestant can choose whatever he likes to spit. And the choice isn’t restricted to one item. He/she can choose how many ever he/she likes to, how many ever times he/she wants to.
2. Spit within the given circumference, within the given time – The usual rules as applies for the other events.
(Now here is the twist).
3. Each contestant has to spit to the maximum extent possible. Now, the person who by default, and involuntarily, has managed to spit the maximum, plus has, during his period of stay for the Olympics, managed to make all the places of his visit even more colourful (with his spit of different varieties) – the lifts, the main roads, the hand rails, the corridors, the passages, in short, every bit of space he has been to; will be declared the winner. It shows his inborn talent, which should never go unrecognised – he deserves the crown, for he is truly leaving a mark of one of his country’s specialty everywhere; ain’t he?
I know the trials are going on in full vigour and the selection is going to be a tough process for the judges – so much talent around and so few people only can be sent, specially for our special edition contest. Yet, I am sure each of them will outdo themselves and prove their worth.
May the best always win!
So,”Spitting Feat” should make it to the Olympics this time, shouldn’t it? I’m plenty sure we’ll definitely have all the 3 medals in our kitty before long, won’t we?
P. S. Psssst. I made this suggestion the last time Olympics was held too. But nobody seems to have noticed. So I’m making an effort this time too, to make sure our talent doesn’t go waste. Help me if you can, please?