I’ve, for the longest time, cribbed, lied, and made excuses for the silliest of reasons. I know I don’t exactly give a good picture of myself, but that’s okay, ’cause I don’t intend to. But there’s one thing I haven’t done, and will never do – be fake; to myself, to anyone else. I’ve observed a lot of people throwing around words like ‘sweetheart’, ‘honey’, ‘darling’ and the latest among them, erm, ‘dear’ – left, right and center. Hmmmphhhh.
Sugar-coated stupid adjectives.
Also, the plastic smiles – I don’t mean the cordial, courtesy ones which we put up for the acquaintances, the seniors or the bosses at work. I mean the giggly, overtly friendly smiles which don’t necessarily convey anything, but look a tad too meaningful- ’cause anyway, afterward, there’s a lot of bitching that’s going to happen behind our backs, so where’s the need to fake it? Why the pretence when nothing good’s going to come out of it for either?
Yeah, you got it, I’m not the friendly type. But over the years, I’ve learnt to be honest. And sincere, to those who mean the world to me. And to those who don’t, I don’t go around pretending they are. I don’t necessarily snarl at people either – that’s totally uncalled for, I try and be my courteous best where it’s necessary. And where it’s not, I casually avoid. Because I know the namesake Facebook friends’ count isn’t going to be of any help to me when I’m in need. And I definitely don’t want to show off to the world how big my WhatsApp chat list is, or how hugely popular I am, when I am actually not. I’m happily contented with the handful of people whom I can call my own, who wouldn’t compromise on me, who wouldn’t judge me, and who’ll stand by me through thick and thin – shunning all the sham and fake smiles and honey-glazed adjectives.
Let’s face it people. We can’t be Mogambo and Raj at the same time, to the same person, can we? That would be too much to ask for. If it’s necessary for us to be a Mogambo for some, then let’s be. If that would invite too much trouble or if we can’t really help but pretend, then let’s learn to be an Amol Palekar instead. But let’s not fake a Raj when we don’t want to be one.
P.S. I can’t please everyone, every time. I end up hurting myself a lot when I do that. Plus, in the process, I’ve hurt people a lot more too, intentionally and otherwise. So I’ve decided that if I’ve to choose; which is the case all the time, I’d keep myself on top of the heap and please myself first, by doing what would give me real happiness in the long run – happiness sans even a tiny bit of regret.